from The Universal Courtier's Grammar
by Denis Fonvizin
ADVERTISEMENT This Grammar is not intended for any one Court in particular; it is Universal, or Philosophical. The manuscript original therof was found in Asia where, so it is said, the first Czar and the first Court came into being. The antiquity of this work is of the profoundest, for on its first leaf, even though no year is designated, the following words are precisely set forth: Shortly after the Universal Deluge. |
CHAPTER THE FIRST. INDUCTION
Question: What is Courtier’s Grammar? Answer: Courtiers' Grammar is the Art, or Science of flattering cunningly, with tongue and pen. Q: What is meant by “flattering cunningly”? A: It means uttering and writing such untruth as may prove pleasing to those of high station and, at the same time, of benefit to the flatterer. Q: What is Courtly Untruth? A: It is the expression of a soul inglorious before a soul vainglorious. It consists of shameless praise heaped upon a Great Man for those services which he never performed and those virtues which he never had…
CHAPTER THE SECOND. OF VOWELS AND THE PARTS OF SPEECH
Question: What people usually make up a Court? Answer: Those who sound off, or Vowels, and Mutes. Q: What does the Grammarian mean by Vowels? A: By Vowels are meant those powerful Grandees who, for the most part, through the simplest of sounds, by the mere opening of their mouths, already bring about the desired action on the part of the Mutes. Example: Should a Great Man, while a report is being read to him, frown and utter O! – no one, ever, will venture to carry the matter out; unless someone explains the same to the Great Man in a different manner and he, having gotten different ideas on the subject, will, in a tone that proclaims his error, utter A! – in which case, usually, the matter is settled right then and there…
CHAPTER THE THIRD. OF VERBS
Question: What Verb is conjugated most frequently of all at Court, and in what Tense? Answer: Even as at Court, so in the Capital, no one lives out of debt; therefore the Verb conjugated most frequently of all is: to be in debt. (The appended Exemplary Conjugation is in the Present, since that is the Tense used most frequently of all.)
I am in debt
Thou art in debt
He, She or It is in debt
We are in debt
You, Ye are in debt
They are in debt
Question: Is this Verb ever conjugated in the Past Tense? Answer: Ever so rarely – inasmuch as not he or she pays his or her debts.
Q: And in the Future Tense? A: The conjugation of this Verb in the Future Tense is in good usage, for it goes without saying that if one be not in debt, he or she inevitably will be.
Editor’s Note: The passages above are taken from Denis Ivanovich Fonvizin’s, “Universal Courtiers’ Grammar,” (1783) in The Portable Russian Reader, Bernard Guilbert Guerny, trans. New York: The Viking Press, 1947. pp. 22-27.
Born circa 1745 and active in the latter part of the 18th century, Fonvizin (a “Russianization” of von Weisen), is best known for the comic play Hobbledehoy (1782) which is still performed. Seduced by the seeming intellectual openness of his moment, Fonvizin initiated a polemical dialogue with Catharine the Great, but in light of her displeasure with his relatively progressive arguments was forced to issued a public apology and go into literary retirement in 1788. His only subsequently published piece was a necrologe for his mentor N.I. Papin, a statesman who advocated the reformation of serfdom. Fonvizin died in 1792.
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I am in debt
Thou art in debt
He, She or It is in debt
We are in debt
You, Ye are in debt
They are in debt
Question: Is this Verb ever conjugated in the Past Tense? Answer: Ever so rarely – inasmuch as not he or she pays his or her debts.
Q: And in the Future Tense? A: The conjugation of this Verb in the Future Tense is in good usage, for it goes without saying that if one be not in debt, he or she inevitably will be.
Editor’s Note: The passages above are taken from Denis Ivanovich Fonvizin’s, “Universal Courtiers’ Grammar,” (1783) in The Portable Russian Reader, Bernard Guilbert Guerny, trans. New York: The Viking Press, 1947. pp. 22-27.
Born circa 1745 and active in the latter part of the 18th century, Fonvizin (a “Russianization” of von Weisen), is best known for the comic play Hobbledehoy (1782) which is still performed. Seduced by the seeming intellectual openness of his moment, Fonvizin initiated a polemical dialogue with Catharine the Great, but in light of her displeasure with his relatively progressive arguments was forced to issued a public apology and go into literary retirement in 1788. His only subsequently published piece was a necrologe for his mentor N.I. Papin, a statesman who advocated the reformation of serfdom. Fonvizin died in 1792.
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